


Forgiven

by Piper_Halliwell1979



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Coda, Commitment, Crying Dean, Emotional Castiel, Emotional Dean, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Episode: s12e11 Regarding Dean, Established Castiel/Dean Winchester, Established Relationship, Exchanging Rings, Forgiveness, M/M, Making Up, Past Cheating, Season/Series 12
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-02-11
Updated: 2017-02-11
Packaged: 2018-09-23 12:11:05
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,687
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9656960
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Piper_Halliwell1979/pseuds/Piper_Halliwell1979
Summary: Dean can't remember anything that happened to him whilst under the witch's spell. Sam tells him about his one night stand and Dean breaks down over cheating on Cas.





	

Sam decided after their first pit stop that he should do the rest of the driving. He needed to talk to Dean about what happened and it was easier when his brother was a captive audience in the passenger seat.

“The last thing you really remember is riding Larry?” He began.

“Yep. It was awesome!”

“And then you remember Rowena?”

“Yes! We’ve been over this. There's a big black ball of nothing for like, two days.”

Sam took a deep breath. “There was a waitress. I told her you had been roofied.”

All the color drained from Dean’s face. “No. Uh uh. Nope.” He shook his head.

“Yeah, Dean. You did.”

“Fuck!” Dean hit the dash hard with both fists. “Son of a bitch!” His anger towards himself turned to tears. Sam reached over to try to calm him.

“He’ll be upset but he’ll understand. It was a spell. You didn’t remember him. You didn’t remember your own name.”

“Pull over, Sammy! Seriously, pull the fuck over.” Dean dashed from the car the second he heard the gravel from the shoulder crunch under the tires. He heaved until he was empty. Sam helped him upright and handed him a rag from the trunk to wipe his face. He stumbled back to the car on weak legs.

This wasn’t good. Sam had just gotten them over their latest fight. He thought when Cas left them a couple days ago it was on good terms. He’d seen them hug and briefly kiss goodbye in the garage. And Dean was shaking so bad beside him…

“This is it, man. He’s gonna walk out on me and never come back. I fucked up, Sam. I fucked up bad this time.” Dean’s face was buried in his hands. Sam hadn’t seen him this torn up since after they thought they lost Cas to the Leviathan.

“Hey, no. Cas isn’t leaving you. Couples break up over way less shit than you guys have gone through.” 

Dean sniffled. “You don’t understand. I was gonna ask the guy to marry me. You know, after we dealt with Kelly and before the cosmic consequences. Billie, she...she told me Cas has a soul. It’s why the other angels hate him. If something happens to him...I want us to share a heaven. Soulmates share heavens.”

That hit Sam hard in his gut. This was a Dean he’d rarely ever seen before. He was raw and vulnerable. It hurt almost as bad as watching him fade away over the past two days. He knew any words out of his mouth would offer no comfort. It was something Dean and Cas would have to work through on their own.

 

***

Sam left Dean and Cas alone once they got back to the bunker. He’d called Cas to tell him about the spell and of course the worried boyfriend came home immediately. He rushed to Dean and looked him over. After ruling out the physical he started to fret over the emotional damage he saw in Dean’s face.

“Talk to me,” Cas said in a firm voice. He pulled him aside to the war room so they could sit.

Dean broke down again. He couldn’t look in Castiel’s eyes. He couldn’t find the words except for, “I’m sorry, Cas. I’m so sorry.” He repeated it over and over. Dean felt strong arms around him and somehow he wound up on the floor half in Cas’ lap.

“You didn’t do anything wrong, Dean. A witch cast a spell on you. Sam told me and I was so afraid…”

Dean tried to push away. “I did do something wrong. I did the worst thing. And you’re going to leave me.”

“Dean, you’re scaring me. Please…” 

“I cheated on you! Sam said there was a waitress. I don’t remember anything about the past two days but it happened and now you hate me.” Dean scrambled away from the angel and huddled against the wall. His chest hurt like he’d been trampled in a stampede. He could barely suck in a breath between sobs.

Castiel’s first instinct was to run. He wanted to get as far away from Dean as possible and at the same time he wanted to seek Dean’s arms for comfort. His human emotions could be overwhelming. He always went to Dean to understand them. Could he still? “I don’t hate you, Dean. I could never hate you.”

“I deserve it,” he responded quietly.

“No, you don’t.” Cas scooted over on the floor close to Dean. “This hurts, it hurts so much that it happened but it wasn’t you. You didn’t do this. The Dean who existed before me slept with a waitress at a bar. Hell, the Dean who existed a year ago could have slept with her and I wouldn’t have a right to say anything about it!”

Dean flinched at the raised voice but he’d gladly take it. He’d take a punch, too if Cas took a swing at him. He didn’t expect his hand to be taken or for Cas’ head to fall on his shoulder. “Cas...what are you doing?”

“Loving you, forgiving you, needing you to make me feel better.”

“Come here.” He wrapped his arms around his angel. “How can you even stand to be near me?”

“Because I have waited an eternity to find love. And you obviously love me or the thought of hurting me wouldn’t hurt you so much. You weren’t even aware of what you did. But you confessed to me and I wish to forgive you. I wish it would all just go away.” 

They sat quietly on the floor together in their embrace. At some point Cas crawled into Dean’s lap and that’s how they were when Sam peeked in to check on them. “You guys okay?”

Dean looked into his angel’s tired eyes. “Are we okay, baby?”

Before Cas could answer, Sam interrupted. “I um...I got a phone call from the um...the waitress. She still had my card. She felt really bad about the other night, you know, thinking you were roofied. She said she’s glad it didn’t go all the way because that was just, ‘too rapey’. So you didn’t exactly cheat, Dean. Thought you guys should know that.”

Dean and Cas both heaved a collective sigh of relief. Dean still felt bad for even the flirting and what he guessed was second base stuff. “I’m still sorry, Cas.” He pressed their foreheads together. Cas nuzzled into him. “And I still forgive you,” he replied.

***

Dean hesitated at the side of their bed. He felt so guilty even though he’d been forgiven. “I’d understand if you wanted me to sleep on the couch tonight.”

Cas marked his page and closed his book. He grabbed the covers and pulled them back to imply Dean should be lying next to him. Dean slid in but stayed on his back, not crossing the invisible line between them. His ears rang loud from the silence.

“Wear a ring.”

Dean startled at the angel’s voice. “What?”

“Wear a ring,” Cas repeated. “If something like this ever happens again, Father forbid, you will see the ring and know you have someone who loves you and is waiting for you.”

“You asking me to marry you, Cas?” After nearly a decade in each other's lives he still had no idea what Cas meant sometimes.

Cas turned to his side table and dug through the drawer. He pulled out a small wooden box that looked handcarved. “I used an angel blade to make this. The Men of Letters had a mold to cast iron into rings. Quite a genius idea. One could punch a ghost to dissipate the spirit.”

That was genius. Why the hell hadn't they thought of that before? Dean got out of bed and went to his wardrobe. He pulled a box from the top shelf and dug through it. He handed Cas a little velvet box. “I was at an antique store. The one with all the Nazi crap. Me and Sam burned it so nobody could get their hands on it but in the display case downstairs was this ring. I thought it was perfect for you. I was gonna wait until the Kelly thing was closed but…”

He watched in anticipation as Cas carefully opened it. The silver ring was intricately engraved and had a sapphire mounted in it. It was the same color blue as his angel’s eyes. “Wasn't thinking at the time to make it an engagement ring, but it can be.”

Cas’ eyes brimmed with tears. He held the ring between his thumb and forefinger and looked between it and Dean. “I don’t know what to say. What made you decide? That you wanted to marry me, I mean.”

Dean took Cas’ hand between his own and thumbed over it. “Billie told me you have a soul. So I remembered you telling me that soul mates get to share a heaven. You're my soul mate. I wanted you to be with me on the other side after she sent me home. I kept looking over at you in the car and wanted to ask you a hundred times before she showed.”

“Dean, I...I made this ring for you while you were away. I wanted you to have a token, something of me to be with you always. You could look at your hand and know you’re not alone. I should have given it to you but we were fighting and not speaking to one another.”

The each held their rings. Putting them on was a big commitment. Dean still had doubts that he was worthy to wear his. “Are we really doing this?”

Cas slid his ring onto his finger. Perfect fit. “I am. Are you?”

Dean looked at the shimmering, smooth band. With a deep breath he put it on. It felt like it belonged there. “I’m yours, angel.”

Cas pulled him in for a kiss. “You still owe me makeup sex from last week.”

“Wanna see my mad bull riding skills?”

“As long as it lasts more than eight seconds.”


End file.
